Today:s Relationships: Cougar Women: Women Who Date Men At Least Ten Years Their Junior

NBC ID: ARAGJSMTHM | Production Unit: Today Show | Media Type: Aired Show | Media ID: NY-TDY-20071114-0001 | Air Date(s): 11/14/2007 | Event Date(s): 11/14/2007

Transcript

Event Date(s): 11/14/2007 | Event Location(s): Today New York Studio | Description: EJ: 10:07:01 (1:50) INT MS: Brief cuts of actress Demi Moore with her younger husband actor Ashton Kutcher, of actress Kim Cattrall and cougars. MS: Stills of Moore, Cattrall and supermodel Jerry Hall. MS: In interview self-proclaimed cougar Susan Agnello says,"Today's cougar woman is someone who's strong and independent." MS: In interview self-proclaimed cougar Sharon Toomer says,"She's intelligent, she's witty, she's fun, she's charming." MS: Stills of Moore with Kutcher, of Cattrall with younger boyfriend and of Hall. EXT DAY MS: Slow-motion clip of woman riding her bicycle along city street. INT MS: Slow-motion clip of Agnello walking in restaurant with younger man. MS: In interview Agnello says (part vo),"I'm constantly, constantly following the trends of haircuts, makeup, and clothing. Presentation is everything. I do not leave my house without stiletto heels, ever." MS: Brief cuts of Agnello, of Agnello applying lipstick, and walking in office wearing trendy raincoat. EXT NIGHT MS: Agnello walks along sidewalk wearing stiletto heels. INT XCU: Man's hand on woman's leg. CU: Couple holds hands. MS: Toomer sits on couch with younger man as they talk. CU: Toomer holds glass of wine. MS: In interview psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz says,"I think for some women, they want a lot out of life. Men their age are seeming tired, maybe very stuck in their ways, not very flexible. So they're looking to younger men to sort of inject more energy, more excitement." MS: Agnello and younger man at restaurant talking. MS: Various shots of younger men. MS: In interview Toomer says,"It's not that I'm not attracted to men my own age either, it's just that they're not the ones who are approaching me. And it seems that the younger men are actually pursuing me." MS: Toomer sips glass of wine as she sits on couch with younger man. MS: Agnello and younger man touch hands at restaurant. CU: Their hands entwined. MS: In interview Agnello says (part vo),"People will always judge a woman for being with a younger man because they still feel that women are with younger men just for sex, and that the younger man is with the older woman for her money. That is so not true." MS: Agnello and man toast at restaurant. In live studio interview with host Hoda Kotbe and co-host for a day former host of"Live with Regis and Kathie Lee" Kathie Lee Gifford, Agnello, Toomer and other self-proclaimed cougar Linda Franklin: HODA KOTBE: Hello, cougars. Ms. LINDA FRANKLIN: Hello, ladies. KOTB: First of all, I think the term cougars kind of has a negative--it sounds negative. It sounds like predator going after the poor prey. Ms. FRANKLIN: Yes. KATHIE LEE GIFFORD: They are beautiful animals, though. KOTB: True. Ms. FRANKLIN: They are beautiful animals. Ms. AGNELLO: Yes, they are. Ms. FRANKLIN: But I have a whole new spin on cougars. KOTB: Tell me. Ms. FRANKLIN: I call them real cougars. They are women that are confident, that are sexy, that are financially independent. We know--we know what we want, and we know how to get it. It's not about the ring on your finger. We can be married, we can be single. It's our attitude. KOTB: Oh, really? OK. GIFFORD: Oh, it's an attitude. That's where I've gone wrong. Who knew? KOTB: But what's the--what's the younger man appeal? I mean, it maybe sound like a naive question, but what is the thing? Ms. AGNELLO: Well, for me... GIFFORD: Have you looked at any recently? KOTB: That's... Ms. AGNELLO: Well, besides the hard body, which is totally a perk, the passion, I mean, they're still following their dreams. They're full of passion. They're still--they're so hopeful. And it's just so intoxicating to be around that energy. And that's... KOTB: Mm-hmm. Yeah. GIFFORD: They're a little eager, like puppies. Ms. AGNELLO: Yes, exactly. They're trainable. GIFFORD: And you know the thing about puppies, can't beat a good puppy. KOTB: Sharon, is there ever too young? Like, what's too young? GIFFORD: Well, you don't want to go to jail. Ms. TOOMER: No, you don't want to rob the cradle. You definitely want to--it'sabout compatibility. And sometimes you can date somebody who is your age who is pathetically immature. Other times, you can date somebody who's younger and an old soul, which is... KOTB: Who's the youngest you've ever dated? Just--let's put out numbers. Come on. Ms. TOOMER: First, I have to say this... KOTB: What? Ms. TOOMER: ...I did not know he was the age that he was. KOTB: Oh! Ms. TOOMER: I need to tell everyone--I need to put that up front. GIFFORD: The diaper should have given it away. Ms. TOOMER: But he didn't--he didn't look his age. And, you know, there was... KOTB: Tell us, Sharon. Ms. TOOMER: And I was in my 30s, and it was a 13-year difference. And as soon as I found out, that was the end. KOTB: What's the math? You were... GIFFORD: That's not bad at all. I mean, Frank--I'm 23 years younger than my husband, and we got a little flack for that when we were first together. But that's more common than the other way around. KOTB: Yeah. Ms. TOOMER: Yeah, it is common. That is common. Ms. FRANKLIN: Absolutely. GIFFORD: I try to think what it would be like with a 23--I get--I get so excited thinking about it, I can't say it! Ms. AGNELLO: Well, I really don't talk about age at all, but there was one scenario where I did call this particular person about--you know, on his birthday. And then I finally did ask him what his age was, and I did find out it was a 17-year difference. KOTB: Wow. Ms. FRANKLIN: But you shouldn't lie about your age. Ms. AGNELLO: But it was like totally--we--I totally related to him, he totally related to me. I had more mature conversation with him than some older men that I've been with. KOTB: Yeah. GIFFORD: But it sounds like it's going to be a very short-lived relationship, unless the two people are quite special. Because, let's face it, you change as you age. KOTB: Yes. And older guys do get stuck in their ways. Ms. FRANKLIN: They do. KOTB: Younger guys are more fun. GIFFORD: And those guys are going to get old one day, too, and you're going to want an even younger guy. You're creating a very bad scenario. Ms. FRANKLIN: But, you know, I think real cougars is just one part of a two-part story, because the real cougars, because they're such a force in changing the way people look at everything, that it's really going to affect the boomer men. And I think that's going to be an exciting story. KOTB: But where do the cougars get their confidence? That's what I notice about women--like all three of you. I mean, you're, like, `I can get anyone I want. I--I'm gorgeous.' Where does that come from? Ms. TOOMER: Well... Ms. AGNELLO: Well, you have to--oh, I'm sorry. KOTB: Go ahead. Everybody. Ms. AGNELLO: It's self-love. I mean, you have to really feel good about yourself. I mean, me in particular... KOTB: Mm-hmm. Ms. TOOMER: That's part of it. Ms. AGNELLO: ...I started--I--my cougarism started when I was in kindergarten when there was 21 kids and I was the only girl. That was pretty empowering. KOTB: Right. Ms. AGNELLO: I had 20 boys... GIFFORD: What were you going after, a two-year-old at the time? Ms. AGNELLO: It--around five. GIFFORD: I was going, but that's sick and you have issues. Ms. AGNELLO: No, what I'm trying to say is that it's, you know... Ms. FRANKLIN: It's about life--it's about life experience. Ms. TOOMER: Yes. Ms. FRANKLIN: You know, the more you do in life, the more successful you are, the more confident you get. KOTB: And just--Sharon, last thoughts for people at home who want to have the confidence that you have. Ms. TOOMER: It really--and first of all, if you're over 40, embrace it. KOTB: Yeah. Ms. TOOMER: It's really a great time to be. Ms. FRANKLIN: Yes. Ms. TOOMER: And that's what I would encourage. Just embrace it. And whatever comes your way, then, you know, whether it's a younger--if it's a younger man or an older man, just... GIFFORD: And go to your dermatologist often. Ms. TOOMER: Make sure... Ms. AGNELLO: Well, definitely... Ms. TOOMER: Drink lots of water. Ms. AGNELLO: ...you need to go to the gym. GIFFORD: Drink lots of water. KOTB: Linda, Susan, Sharon, you guys were terrific. Thank you so much. GIFFORD: Thank you, ladies. Ms. FRANKLIN: Thank you. Ms. AGNELLO: Thank you. GIFFORD: Rawr. Ms. FRANKLIN: Rawr.

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NBC News Archives
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14 November, 2007
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